I’ve been thinking about my phone lately—not the actual physical device, but what it’s doing to my mind.

The reflex is so ingrained now I barely notice it. Waiting for the kettle? Phone. Dog asleep on my lap? Phone. A moment of stillness or boredom? Scroll, tap, refresh. I even struggle to watch a TV show without mindlessly scrolling.

It used to feel like I was using it for a reason—checking the weather, replying to a message, reading an article. But lately, I’ve caught myself flicking between apps like I’m trying to find something I lost. I just don’t know what.

There’s something unsettling about the way this constant stimulation has shaped my attention. It feels like my nervous system is always humming, waiting for the next notification, the next update, the next hit of something—anything.

And when I finally try to focus—on writing, reading, thinking—I find there’s a kind of fog. Not just distraction, but a deeper paralysis. Like the ability to sit with uncertainty, to lean into discomfort or do something meaningful, has been eroded by a thousand tiny dopamine jolts.

Is this stress?

It doesn’t always feel like stress in the usual sense. But when I zoom out, I notice the cumulative effect.

I feel more impatient. More reactive. Less willing to tolerate the slow, quiet work that matters. And the irony is, I often reach for my phone to “unwind” or “escape”—only to return feeling more depleted than before.

So what now?

I’m not here to preach a digital detox or throw my phone in a river. But I am experimenting with space.

• Leaving my phone in another room when I go to bed.
• Limiting all but essential notifications.
• Setting screen-free hours in the evening.
• And paying close attention to the feeling that comes up when I unconsciously reach for my phone

I don’t have this all figured out. But I’m starting to believe that regaining even a little control over my attention could unlock something bigger—more clarity, more presence, more space to think and create.

And maybe that starts not with a big solution, but with noticing the small moments.

Below are a few related books that have helped me on this journey so far:

Stolen Focus: Why You Can't Pay Attention - https://amzn.to/4lRgrMt

The DOSE Effect: https://amzn.to/4lRgrMt

The Anxious Generation: https://amzn.to/4lRgrMt